Monday, August 26, 2013

Getting back on the horse...

What a summer....

My luck this summer kind of sucked.  I wanted to write this blog so I can move on with the next chapter of my life.  I started this blog to record family recipes and new ones I want to try.  At times I share some of the events in my life so I can remember them.  This summer will not be one I will forget, but I feel I need to write it out to move on.

It started when I fell down the entire flight of wooden steps in my house a couple of months ago and it went downhill from there.  I got a new car- then someone crashed into it.  I had a bad rash that went on for weeks.  The biggest event was the death of my mom which was unexpected.  Devastation is slow process that does not hit you at once, but more like a slow painful process that just goes deeper and deeper as the days go on.  While in my stupor state I managed to gracefully slip on a sidewalk and break my first bone and land myself out of work and in a cast for weeks.  While struggling to grieve I was forced to sit and be at the mercy of others for my care.  My moms house to empty, work being missed, crutches, pain, thank you cards to write, bills to pay, stuff piling in around me.  What a time this has been.  On top of it all the life insurance has raked me over the coals on an almost daily basis and are probably going to not pay her policy.  As I write this I am slowly starting to function and not feel like I am in a total fog for each of the 24 hours I have been granted, but the process is still slow.  Grief sucks!  I am determined to get back on the horse and get my life back together because that is what my mom would want and expect from me.  I miss her more than words can express.  Fall will be better and winter even better.  Prayer helps!  I will get through this.  One day at a time.

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